It’s funny that I started to blab something or maybe everything I feel at this wee hour two days before the day that really meant special to me. Maybe because the video I just watched on youtube made me inspired to write this. Once and for all. Oh, watching vlogs, funny videos and movies are my life. That’s why after watching that one video made me to do this. I don’t know why now but I’m still doing it. I’m positive that maybe noone will ever read this but I don’t care. You have no idea how full of random thoughts are in my mind everyday well maybe you are too. I wish I have a journal right now to write all of these its just that if I have one i want it to be what i really wanted. Just give me time to say what I should say. I think this is the very first time I am really writing something. Ah this is what it feels like..
I really don’t know how long or how short it was since the day everything had changed. I’m talking about my last heartbreak and to tell you the truth, it was the most painful heartbreak. Ever.
I don’t know if I should share on where we started to where it ended, I’ll just tell you where am I since. I was in my teenage years when the love I felt was very deep that a married woman may feel. I’m not exaggerrating. Some say I’m more mature than my actual age, maybe it’s one of the reasons I’m thinking this way. I’m not saying that I don’t do kids stuff I still do. I’m still learning. I was madly inlove of being inlove. This was not my first commitment but this one I thought would be the real one and maybe would last. It was something so strong. Yes, I’m one of the girls that still believe in destiny, true love etc. Movies taught me well, huh. But then again I was wrong. It didn’t last. Up to this day I still don’t know the exact reason why we didn’t work out. I heard stories though. Maybe there will be no perfect reason. Maybe that’s just that. People come and go. Just like that.
I’m shattered, broken whatever you call it. As each day goes by, thankfully I’m getting better. Picking myself up. There are days that I forget it but there are more days you just want to give up and its still there, the pain. Trust me I’ve been through a lot. I know what pain feels like. I accepted it maybe not everything but I’m getting there. I trust God for his perfect time.
As they say that time heals all wounds.
I can’t believe I am still thankful for him which I will always be for everything he had done for me. I want to thank you again for letting me go but not the way you let me. I will never fully understand you on what you did but maybe it’s really true that everything happens for a reason. It made sense now. I have many things to do for myself before I should enter a serious commitment. I thought I was ready that I gave too much that nothing was left for me. Thank you for making me feel all of this, it’s not easy, but I’m getting stronger. I’m learning to be not dependent to a person too much. Thank you for letting me realize what kind of guy should I really be with. Thank you. Because of you I felt what real love is. What real goals are. For now I want to finish school, to get my dream job and travel before anything else. Cliché much. But why not?
Though I get sad again at times especially when you think you are really on your own this time. It’s normal I guess. Feelings. Important is that, I am okay now. I have my friends and family that loves me as far as I know. I may not have someone right now, but I’m still optimistic to fall inlove again.. get married. Trust love once again.
— (six-word story)
September 6, 2014- Kendall out in NYC with Gigi Hadid